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“I love love,” proclaims Taylor Swift’s character in the movie Valentine’s Day. And she’s not alone. Researches have long identified that love is an addiction, and that breaking up can be like trying to kick a drug addiction. Love produces a chemical reaction in our brains, and, like all chemicals, can become the cause of an addiction for some people. Love addiction is actually a commonplace illness that requires treatment. However, unlike addictions to drugs and alcohol, an individual can fully recover and regain the capability to become involved in a normal relationship within a few years.
Experts point to a typical psychological profile of a love addict. These include a lack of affection and nurturing as a child; low self esteem; depression; a presence of other addictive and compulsive behaviors; and an inability to be without a relationship. An individual who experiences any of these situations is likely to become addicted to love due to the highs one can experience from love. For many people, it is hard to create such highs and short-term happiness on their own.
For many people who are addicted to love, they crave the pain that an individual experiences from obsessive relationships. Many love addicts note that the pain fills a “hole inside of themselves.” An addicted person craves their romantic partner, obsessing over him or her and distorting reality. But it’s not as if these love addicts accidentally wander into painful situations- rather, they seek them out. Once in such a relationship, addicts are aware that the relationship is unhealthy, yet choose to remain to feel that “rush.”
So how do you know if your obsession with love is an unhealthy one? Experts note that there are several signs to watch for. If you typically fall in love extremely quickly and ignore your partner’s faults; often have relationships that only last a few weeks or months; and experience extreme emotional highs at the beginning of these relationship (i.e., you can’t eat or sleep), you might be at risk for a love addiction. Other warning signs include remaining in a relationship simply because you need somebody, as opposed to wanting that person; doing almost anything to stay together with your significant other; and feeling like every fight is a case of life-or-death. Finally, if you tend to become obsessed with people who have no romantic interest in you, you might consider treatment for a love addiction.
For diagnosed love addicts, many treatment options are available. The most successful treatments involve either a therapist or group therapy sessions. Again, experts stress that love addictions are unique in that a recovered addict does not need to go cold turkey, and in time will once again be able to experience a normal relationship.
When it comes to a marital affair, the facts tend to be different from what people believe are true. Below are some marital affair myths that have been exposed by the latest research. But first, let’s take time to understand that anyone can be a cheater. Research has proven that there are as many different cheater profiles as there are people that have an affair.
Contrary to popular belief, it’s not only men who cheat. While baby-boomer men do cheat more, the average woman in her 20s or 30s is just as likely to have an affair. This is because more women work, and work presents more opportunities for people to engage in an affair. This is in part due to the financial freedom that comes from having a career that allows one to gamble the financial securities they have with the partner they intend to cheat on.
Work is not the only reason people cheat. When it comes to a husband affair, a man doesn’t always cheat because he is unhappy with his marriage. More than 50 percent of men who get involved in a marital affair report that they were happy with their marriages. Men tend to normalize affairs because of influences from people within their circle of friends. The same thing happens to women. Women report that one of the major reasons that they chose to have an affair is because they already know of another woman that is having one.
There are a few more things that must be known. Whether you have a couple where the wife cheats or there is a husband affair, the betrayed spouse rarely ever suspects anything. It’s also important to know that most people who engage in a marital affair do not find lasting happiness with their affair partners. In fact, 75 percent of affair partners that get married end up in a divorce. The truth is that the things that attract someone to the people they have an affair with aren’t the qualities that are ideal for a long-term relationship.
In order to avoid a physical or emotional affair it’s good to avoid situations that leave you vulnerable to members of the opposite sex. Here are some tips on how you can avoid having a marital affair: Be each other’s top confidant; don’t share private thoughts with others that you don’t share with your spouse. This only creates a wall between you and your wife or husband. Have time for the two of you; many marriages that are too child-centered are at a higher risk of a cheating partner. And finally, be open about temporary attractions to other people; lust is a part of being human.
Remember, a marital affair does not always end or ruin a marriage. Nearly two in three couples that enter therapy after an affair are able to salvage their marriage. Many end up having a better one than they did prior to the marital affair. However, it can take up to a year to recover from a marital affair.